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January 9th, 2006
10:50 pm


i must say that this journal will soon develop into something else.

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December 8th, 2005
01:26 pm


we are free
i am free again,
though i am still without mother.
i have so recent, fallen from her womb,
yet still, she has not recognized me.


yet, i am free, once again,
to walk the earth, touching illness
breathing justice medicinal,
and i wait for mother...

brother walks beside me,
the first of kings,
the last of kings,
many more between him,
none true,
none real.
i had not blessed them.
they did not share their womb with me.
not napoleon,

i have been watching afar from my soul,
in centred, waiting for a time
my four arms grew tired of that balancing act
and the hands of earth faultered...
and here i am to right my ways,
to right the ways of all in my name
who kill
wrongly so
birth and sing
and make law
in my name
wrongly so
for i have not been understood
in my own understanding
every man and woman is a star
and within them i sit,
the smallest place,
i am in only one place
but my essence is everywhere.
my brother pulled my from her vagina
oh, great nuit, protected me since the beginning
and i waited with father...inside
while mother hurt
and brother did all he could
and it never worked.....

but now i am out, and i will balance them all
so that mother may stop her tears
and father may show them all
and brother may teach them
we are here, and not yet together, we wait for mother,
we wait for father to return....
torn apart by the universe
torn apart by indifference

but fire has lighted in the hearts of many
and they feel my birth!

he is king of earth, king of my land, king of me.

he is silent, and i SCREAM for him.
hear me cry, this world is loud and cold,
it has polarized in good and evil
my scale has broke
her tears drown me
and i am pulled
in the directions they have chosen


there is no light
there is no dark
no evil
no good
but all in one, the systems aligned
the truth seen....
all in their eyes
but the world is afraid of themselves
afraid of what will jump out.


i will jump and make you jump with me
we will fall
when there is nowhere to fall,
you fall forever
it is the abyss.
and i will take you there
i will guide you
to him
so that you may be free


i will jump out
i will scare you
and love you
and make you realize
that you are a child of her,
like me
or if you are her abortion
mangled, burned and beaten...
she hath created ALL of you, pure and clean
but your actions in my name,
all that were untrue
for they were done loudly and boistrous...

here we come
brother and i,
hand in hand,
to take your hand
to our land,
home, beyond the stars,
to the sister of sothis
where brother was born
where he got bored
and kissed mother,
where father and i were concieved
and waited


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November 23rd, 2005
10:41 am


the hawk screeches over the battlefield,
the war began an aeon ago,
it is at its end, its pinnacle break,
when he shall untie the ropes,
and allow me to crawl out....

i am waiting, i am waiting....
waiting for my hawk to fly at all,
his wings are behind him,
for him to fall.
but he will fly instead.

this beauty, this vision of his beauty,
it will make them scream,
agony or pleasure, is up to them....
his beauty is destruction, so will you please
begin the down-time of all-time.

fierce hawk, after his reign, as destroyer,
he turns into a dove, and this is silence.
but then he is all, defaulted by himself,
and eternity, his lover, once his only friend,
stops in one moment.

dream-lover, you bleed for me...
you entrap, entrance, enact, all deeds
your will is the will of all,
your cry is the voice of the children
and we want revenge.

we want the deaths to multiply
we want justice done to karma
our captivators eaten by cancer,
and we will be the final blow...
take the final blow!

oh hawk of the evening, under her stars,
i hunger for the blood you'll spill
so i may drink to the stars,
and we will be divine, when all this stops
when there is no tree at all.

silent one, kiss me, and make my voice like yours
you are my balances, perfect harmony.
lust for me, you do, but you only see yourself,
i am a mirror for i mirror the mirror.
and then it is seen.......

the cry of the hawk will turn the whole world blind,
into their minds, of a frightful kind,
or blissed minds of a delightful kind,
but it will never be the same, we will be far a way....
the cry of the hawk turns the whole world over,
the cry of the hawk turns the whole world over...

it is not time to be silent, brother.
not yet.

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November 5th, 2005
10:40 pm


"she is the torch of the abyss, the creatures from there are her allies and armies.
with any whom she wishes she may show in blindness to the dark, or as a glow of illumination--
to the gods they go--this is the inbetween..."

"north is her direction, and she is of mirror, flame, feather and wand. she is the light to him,
and is the crest of truth...the answer to faith."

"in her gold horizon, she will be your guide and one other, whom to which she birthed."

"free you will be, trapped into escape, or senseless by decay to the day you sinned."

"ah, but bright, ah but splendor. hear the secrets endless, for there is no end to simply truth|breath."

"she is the care-taker of the abyss, it is her realm and chaos decends. she makes it equal."


"they bask in the night skyof nuit and they are the muse of babalon. the defence of union?"

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October 3rd, 2005
03:27 pm


king arthur was here...
(in my soul)

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September 23rd, 2005
11:33 pm


happy 6 month eternity, my greatest love.

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August 28th, 2005
09:06 pm


i am a violent springtime,
of endless procreation,
enlightenment of the gaining sun.
ah, sweet sunrise,
ah, lovely moon....
the stars are out and they sing to me.

i am the secret,
i am within you,
velvet irridescence,

i will free you.
i will love you.

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June 28th, 2005
06:30 pm


i am liking this whole channel thing.

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June 16th, 2005
01:42 pm


something has happened.
i am more balanced.
and lustful.


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June 11th, 2005
12:57 pm


thank you.
i think i should have expected that to be as strong of a sign that it was.

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